My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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