Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize