so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
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I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
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the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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