Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize