Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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