I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize