Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
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Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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