Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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