U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize