Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
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i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
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We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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