We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize