My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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