Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
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