I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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