Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
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I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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