Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
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oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
We had to coat check the pizza.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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