i don't like sucking hair
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
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Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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