i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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