Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize