you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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