i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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