Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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