Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
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and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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