Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize