Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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