i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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