kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
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listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
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It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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