Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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