no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
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Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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