i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize