I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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