well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize