come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
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I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
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I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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