My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize