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if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
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