Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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