I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
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I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
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You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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