a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
That accounts for only three of the penises
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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