I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
im holly from the hills drunk
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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