I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize