Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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