Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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