dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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