yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I want her autograph on my taint
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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