I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize