I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
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Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
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My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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