go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We had to coat check the pizza.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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