True but thats because hes a fetus.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
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I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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