He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think my moral compass just broke
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize