he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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